I must be too annoying 4 u.
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
