Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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