Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Randomize
