I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
