I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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