Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
