period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
