girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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