did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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