oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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