i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
