i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize