somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
