awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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