I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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