Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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