She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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