Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
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