He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
