That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize