is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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