He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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