so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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