You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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