oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
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He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
