You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize