Already got asked if we're dating
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
