When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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