I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
