theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
