I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
