i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
