It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Best friends brother. Beat that.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
