I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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