i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
