I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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