The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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