shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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