I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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