you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
