I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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