your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
