I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
