Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
