Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
