I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize