the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
