i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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