If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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