he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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