literally had 100 drinks last night.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You need a sexual gate keeper
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
