East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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