How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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