Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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