Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I just forgot I was standing up.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
