I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
