You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
