I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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