My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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