U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
