the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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