Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
