youre lurking in front of me
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
