She announced her abortion via fbk
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
