haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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