Jerry, you need to find god
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
