But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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