After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
