i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
