Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
