if you like me you must not know who I am
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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