Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
