I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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