I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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