Please, let me fuck your mom
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
