we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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